Mixolydian in a Bottle


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Liner Notes

When I was 33 I had an overly dramatic reaction to a bad relationship ending. The upside was that the experience brought me into a more introspective period of my life and allowed me to let go of a lot of BS from my childhood. This song is basically reliving the emotional intensity of that night.

By the way, for the musically curious, the primary motif of the song is F# Mixolydian - I'm no modal genius, I just fell upon the melody and then analyzed it to figure out it was mixo... anyway, that's the reason for the title.

Edit: Per Axl's helpful critique I've decided to rename this with the first title I gave when I started then gave up on this, Mixolydian in a Bottle. (It was posted as Mix’ed Up). I think I always liked this song, I was just too timid to post - here's to getting more bold on FAWM!


Sitting down, I collect my thoughts
Trying to decide if I believe it or not?
Staring blankly, a knife in my hand
Trying hard not to understand

I drank a bottle... or was it two?
Trying to decide just what to do
I thought I loved you, thought you loved me too
Now what's a scared kid supposed to do?

Thoughts flash by like a video show
Forward, rewind, it's out of control
Visions of future of present and past
They're constantly changing, they're going so fast

I've come to an impasse, I've crashed [in]to a wall
Soaring so high I could only fall
I thought it was you, but you're only a trigger
This door I just crashed through is something much bigger

My mom and dad, they were having a fight
No big thing ya know it happens every night
We're just hungry dad, mom wants us fed
Why so angry dad? Why so mad?

All this chaos and anger, all this violence and fear
I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry can't ya hear?
Please don't yell dad, don't lose your head
Please don't scream dad, can't we just go to bed?

The scene flashes backward then upside down
To another place, this time a quiet town
But my world's not quiet, at least not my home
Sometimes I think we'd be better alone

Grandma and grandpa, they come by again
Talking about how that alcohol's a sin
But they don't know, they don't understand
The man hiding in the bottle - that's MY old man!

He loves us all, he's just misunderstood
By everyone in this neighborhood
And what do they know, and how could they tell?
My dad he loves us, he just loves to yell

So he drinks when he's angry, it's just a crutch
It's him and my mother see he loves her TOO much
She can be so hard, sometimes she's so rough
She makes him feel his best is never enough

As an 8-year-old watching daddy & momma
Somehow it stuck; I was trapped in the drama
Brought this dysfunction into my adult life
It became my expectation of a husband and wife

25 years later and I'm hugging my knees
Wondering how I ended up with emotions like these?
This shit's absurd, how'd I end up this way?
Let those memories fade, begin another day...

© 2010 Brian Morse / AquaMunkee Studios