Mixolydian in a Bottle


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Liner Notes

OK, this is another departure... the melody was derived from an instrumental piece I wrote in 1992, I guess this may have been the lyrics it was waiting for all of these years... or not? ;-)

I may take this one down soon... not the sort of thing I'd want my family to stumble upon...

UPDATE: I ended up rewriting this one as part of the 2010 FAWM challenge, this recording is a duplicate of the demo recorded in that challenge:


Sitting down I collect my thoughts
Trying to decide if I believe it or not
Staring blankly, knife in my hand
Trying hard not to understand

I drank a bottle… or was it two?
Trying to decide just what to do
Thought I loved you.. you loved me too
Now what’s a scared kid supposed to do?

Thoughts flash by like a video show
Forward, rewind, it’s out of control
Visions of future, of present and past
Constantly changing, they’re going so fast

I’ve come to an impasse, crashed in a wall
Soaring so high I could only fall
I thought it was you but you were only a trigger
This door I just crashed through is something much bigger

Mom and dad... they were having a fight
No big thing it happens every night
We’re just hungry dad, mom wants us fed
Why so angry dad? Why so mad?

All this chaos and anger, this violence and fear
“I’m sorry dad, I’m sorry, can’t you hear?!?”
Please don’t yell dad, don’t lose your head
Please don’t scream dad can’t we just go to bed?

The scene flashes backward, then upside down
To another place, another quiet town
But my world’s not quiet, at least not my home
Sometimes I think we’d be better alone

Grandma and grandpa, they come by again
Talking ‘bout how that alcohol’s a sin
But they don’t know, they can’t understand
The man hiding in the bottle, that’s my old man

He loves us all, he’s just misunderstood
By everyone in this neighborhood
What do they know? How could they tell?
My dad he loves us, he just likes to yell.

So he drinks when he’s angry, it’s just a crutch
It’s him and my mother, see he loves her too much
She can be hard, sometimes she’s so rough
She makes him feel his best’s never enough

As an 8 year old watching daddy and momma
Somehow it stuck, I was trapped in the drama
Brought this dysfunction forward, into my adult life
It became my expectation of a husband and wife

25 years later and I’m hugging my knees
Wondering how I ended up with emotions like these
This shit’s absurd, how’d I end up this way?
I’ll let those memories fade, begin another day.

© 2007 Brian Morse / AquaMunkee Studios